Parenting Resources
Biting
When toddlers and young children want their way it is not uncommon for them to try to accomplish this by biting. Many children try biting at some point in their early years. What determines whether the child continues to use biting as a means of getting his way is the reaction of the person who is bitten. Parents are in a strong position to stop biting. If your child bites you, stop what you are doing and say, "When you hurt me, I choose not to be with you." Then take action and walk to another room in the house. Biting can be an attempt to draw you into a power struggle. Let your child discover that if he chooses to bite, you will choose not to be around him. Stay clear of talking with a child about why he should not bite, instead let your actions speak for you. When the child has calmed down, return to the room. If the child bit you to get his way in some form of play, do not return to that type of play. Instead start another activity. Children understand delay of gratification at a very young age. If the child bit you because he wanted a toy the two of you were playing with, you will want to put the toy up on your way out of the room. When you return to the room, begin another activity or task.
Look for opportunities to encourage your child's socialization skills later in the day. If you and your child are playing with blocks, ask him to pass you a block. Then thank him for being a friend and sharing with you. This sends a loud and clear message that kind and cooperative behaviors are what you value.
If your child is biting at child care, refrain from talking with him about "not biting." When we discuss not engaging in a misbehavior we are still unwittingly providing attention to the child for the misbehavior. Instead, ask your child which friends he enjoyed playing with during the day. Connect with your child on what he is doing that is friendly rather than on those things that are unkind. This helps to teach caring behavior.
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